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Introduction

Monsters...they exist everywhere. Under beds, in fridges, in closets, in a forest, in the sea and sometimes in our heads(but that is only the retards). So what is a monster? How can one identify one. So us here at Monster Imhotep decided to give you a detailed but basic picture of a monster example.

Example

If anything similar to this is seen run away and tell all your friends an exaggerated story.(note that this is merely an example and many other shapes and additions other then displayed can be of the monster origin or even monsteresk)

Chupacabra



Chupacabra despite popular belief is in fact a mollusk. A great forgotten musician that was recently revived from low grade Mexican Holy Water and some additional spare parts. Mexicans have deemed it a god in their culture simply because they don't have anything better to do other then swim and run and jump.

Lochness



Living in Lochness, some believe it is a stick or a ancient caveman from the Neolithic age. There really weren’t cavemen then but it doesn't matter and doesn't slow the leading scientists from believing in Lochness Monster. Sadly though it doesn't really exist and that hasn’t stopped the Scottish. In fact, it’s just a mutated frog that got into the Mexican Holy Water and the Kraken is mistaken to be the Lochness many a time.

Kraken

Kraken is fucking awesome.

I mean, holy shit.

Thanks to the power of the multi-global porn-pipe we all know and love, pictures of real life straight from hell tentacled bastards of doom surfaced in 2005, the product of a scientific research mission funded by the japanese entertaiment industry. Soon after the country was stunned by the mass suicide of thousands of teenage females and the resignation of the women's Olympic swim team.

A little known fact is that Kraken is a very kind gentleman in higher courts of England and did in fact eat Johnny Depp.

Zombie Werewolf

Everyone knows that zombies and werewolves don't exist. Zombie-werewolves on the other hand are very, very real! Just look it up. They are a dangerous adversary to face. Their roar/groans can strike fear into even the toughest of gluten-free dieters. They may be slow due to their zombie like reflexes…so slow it seems that you can get warmed up with a hug in their soft coat.

Being bitten by a zombie-werewolf will cause you to become that creepy, hairy and smelly old guy that bags things too slow in a checkout. The only way to kill a zombie-werewolf is to completely destroy its head with a silver bullet, which is impossible in most conventional methods(although most people don’t care to even try). All of the zombie-werewolves tend to join the AARP.

The original zombie-werewolf is believed to come out of the tragic Mayonnaise Accident of 1894.

Carpe Demon

Carpe Demon is the hell hound of the freshwaters. Never seen until too late, then it strikes. Though rarely there are some survivors of its attempts to take the souls of the high rivers. One such survivor had this to say.

“It was just another day with my pal Buck. We decided to do what we always did during late summer with a Wet Moon. We had heard of the rumors in the area sure, but we didn’t care. This particular day had been kind of slow so I had fallen asleep with my hook hanging under my leg to wake me. The next thing I know I wake up to hear terrible screaming from Buck. I look over at him and he is nearly halfway out to the pond. Now I was very confused after waking up from my wonderful REM sleep and it took me another second to realize that blood was all over the pond and Bucks screaming just became almost…alien. So I did what I could and jumped in after him wondering what he did this time and why he was so far in. It was in that moment that I looked down and saw it. It was just about the same as any other fish except for a couple of features. Its face was …human. It was then that I saw its teeth and heard, like the sound went through my legs, a raspy screeching mixed with a popping noise. Now when I saw this I decided to forget about Buck and save my own hide. It seemed that Buck had already been taken by this thing anyways because it was completely quiet except for my splashing. Almost to shore I heard the noise again but this time it sounded louder and like there was more. I finally got to shore and out of the water thinking I was safe. But then I was splashed and I felt the warmth of blood falling down my face. I saw half a dozen of these magical carp then flinging out of the water and walking with human like limbs. I was lucky the truck was close by because they almost outran it.”
–Thomas Heckin

It was later found that Mr. Heckin had died under mysterious conditions and the only clues left behind was a trail of water leading from an open window.